No Fear of Falling
by raaaaaaek
Summary: 30 moments in the relationship between Bellatrix Lestrange and Hermione Granger. Done for the 30 Drabbles in 30 Days challenge over at Harry Potter Fanfiction Challenges Forum!  Though most of them aren't very drabble-like :
1. Sapphires

Day One - Sapphires  


* * *

  
Her eyes were like sapphires. They glittered in the moonlight; little twinkles of light glistening in her dark orbs for just a moment before disappearing. It was almost as if they were taunting Hermione, just daring her to make an attempt to tear her eyes away from that beauty. The allure they held was incredible. Dark and mysterious, they drew her in and clouded her mind so she could see nor think of nothing else. As she spoke, she hissed – a snake in the Garden of Eden, bidding that Hermione take a bite out of the forbidden fruit. To taste the sweet poison upon those lips. She was the ultimate sin. Hermione knew that sooner or later she would fall prey to the overwhelming desire that came over her each time she was with Bellatrix Lestrange.


	2. Moonlight

Day Two - Moonlight  


* * *

  
It had been months since her realization. Months since she had been happy or even content with her life. The only time she was not miserable were those stolen moments where she was hidden away in the garden of her backyard, having hushed conversations with the woman that had found her way underneath her skin. Tonight they sat out on the cement wall bordering the garden from the rest of the yard, bathing in the moonlight as usual.

"Tell me another story," Bellatrix said, bathing in the light of the moon.

"You can't possibly have any enjoyment from my stories nor my thoughts," Hermione said, a smile on her face. Ever since the unlikely duo had gotten together, all Bellatrix wanted to hear was happenings from Hermione's work day – colorless tales that she couldn't be interested in. And Hermione's ideas, she loved listening to those especially.

"I do too!" she replied with much sincerity.

"But why?" Hermione questioned. "You of all people... I still can't understand."

"I feel sort of normal when I'm with you," she told Hermione, looking down at the ground. "Sitting here and listening to you makes me forget who I am. What I've done."

In befriending Bellatrix, Hermione had exposed her to a whole new world. She had once been the epitome of everything that Bellatrix hated, right down to her very blood. Now it seemed she had everything that Bellatrix needed – what she had been looking for for all those years but had been too blinded with hatred to realize.

Hermione had no idea what to say. She had always known Bellatrix to be a touchy woman. A bomb just waiting to go off. Although she was no longer under the influence of Lord Voldemort, Hermione still didn't know how sensitive she truly was about her darker days. She had almost forgotten who Bellatrix was. The woman that was seated next to her was not the same as she used to be, but she didn't know what would take her back to those destructive days and she certainly did not want to be the cause of it all.

"I see I've brought our night to an early end," Bellatrix said, breaking the silence upon noticing Hermione's obvious discomfort.

"No, it's not that," Hermione began, pausing once she saw that Bellatrix had hopped off of the wall and stood before her. Hermione tilted her head and smiled, laughing at the way she had just acted. "You really don't have to go."

Bellatrix looked up at the sky out of the corner of her eyes, her hands on her hips. She sighed and shook her head.

"It's late. I should be getting along. Places to be, you know," she said with a small smile, the moonlight twinkling in her eyes.

A hand appeared out of the darkness and Hermione grasped it before she jumped down from the wall.

Hermione was unaware that her hand was still grasping Bellatrix's moments after she had reached the ground. Her back was pressed up against the stone wall, her eyes caught on Bellatrix's face, ravishing her memory with her beauty in the few moments she had left in her presence.

The moonlight washed over Bellatrix's pale skin, giving her an unnatural glow. Her elegant curls cradled her face perfectly, just as her black corset dress accentuated her curves in all the right places. Her lips were slightly parted so that when Hermione pulled her in by the hand and their lips came together, her's fit effortlessly.

The kiss surprised her. It was like nothing she had ever experienced before. The scent of Bellatrix surrounded her, making her head spin. She loved the way Bellatrix was kissing her – hungrily yet gentle, without force. She loved the way Bellatrix leaned into her as they kissed, their bodies practically touching. Explosions of emotion were happening inside of her. She had waited for months for this to happen; the thought of an extraordinary kiss between the two always lurking in the darkest corners of her mind.

And suddenly it was over. The kiss ended without warning but the cloudiness in her mind took moments to clear. When her eyes finally fluttered open, Bellatrix had vanished into thin air.


	3. Why in the world would you do that!

Day 3 - "Why in the world would you do that?"  


* * *

  
"I don't know what to do, Ginny," Hermione sighed, staring down at her cup of tea.

"What, something with the house elves again?" Ginny asked with little interest as she stirred the contents of her cup. "You know, I don't know why you go on letting things like that get to you, Hermione. It's a wonder you don't walk around depressed all the time."

"I've done something terrible," Hermione went on as if she was somewhere far away from the kitchen table.

Ginny had noticed her friend acting strangely ever since she arrived at her house. Hermione had invited her over for dinner, and it was apparent from the moment she stepped in the door that this wasn't just another one of Hermione's friendly dinner invites. There was something much heavier on her mind.

Hermione found it amazing that she managed to keep it under wraps for so long. Ever since the incident in the garden two weeks ago, she could think of nothing else. She had made many attempts to tell Ron since it happened but failed each time. She couldn't bring herself to say it to him – not yet. She had spent a few days considering on whether it was wise to tell Ginny or not, but she came to the conclusion that she had no choice. Ginny was the only girl friend that she had in her life. She was more like a sister than anything. She knew that she could trust her. She was level-headed and never quick to judge – she seemed like the perfect person to play confidante with something of this nature.

"What do you mean you've done something terrible? What's wrong?" Ginny asked, now in a more serious tone. She wasn't sure if this was going to be a legitimate matter or not, she could never know with someone like Hermione who found the freedom and rights of house elves to be one of the most important matters of society.

"I haven't been happy. For so long, everything has felt forced. And I knew it. I knew I should have said something sooner, but I just... I wasn't sure. But then the other night... I can't stop thinking about it and it's killing me. I tried to tell him, I really did but – well, there's no talking to him ever, really."

"Hermione. Her-mi-one," Ginny drawled in utter confusion at Hermione's rambling. She had never been witness to one of Hermione's breakdowns, and was even more unaware that she even had those. This was something much bigger than house elves. "Would you care to tell me what you are talking about before you go on like that again?"

"I kissed her," Hermione said plainly. "We were in the garden and she was about to leave and... I kissed her." It burst out of Hermione, no longer able to be held back and confined to her mind to slowly torture her and deepen the guilt that was already there. Though the guilt was currently masked by the sudden wave of relief that washed over her upon verbalizing what had happened. It somehow made her feel like everything was going to be okay.

Ginny's hands fell heavily to the wooden table. She looked at Hermione with an expression of shock. Had she really just heard that correctly? Had Hermione Granger just told her that she kissed a girl? And not only that, but it was bothering her. There was something more lurking just underneath the surface – something that Hermione hadn't revealed to her yet. This wasn't just a kiss. Ginny knew that. She had spent enough time with Hermione to be able to read her easily, now.

"You do realize that you have completely lost me," Ginny said, not knowing what to make of what she had just been told.  
"It was her," was all Hermione could say. It took all she had to look up at Ginny again. She took a deep breath. "Bellatrix," she said quietly, but loud enough for her friend to hear. "I kissed Bellatrix Lestrange."

Hermione knew what was going through Ginny's mind. It took her so long to think or hear that name without all the memories flooding back and making the battle wounds hidden deep inside of her mind fresh again. But it wasn't like that with the ex-Death Eater, not anymore. When she came to Hermione the first night as she sat there, hidden away in her garden to escape from the world even if it was just for a bit, she could already tell she was a changed person. Bellatrix only continued to show Hermione just how much she had changed over the time span of six months and she now found herself sometimes forgetting that the woman sitting next to her in the garden late at night was once one of the biggest causes of fear and terror, not to mention death, amongst the wizarding world.

"Why," Ginny began, but stopped. She had to close her eyes and bring Hermione back into focus just to make sure it was really her. "Why in the world would you do that?" she asked in amazement more than anything. It had just hit home, what she had heard finally registered. This couldn't possibly be reality. She must be dreaming. There was no other way.

"It's not like I had planned it!" Hermione exclaimed in her defense almost immediately. "And it's not her! Well, I mean... it _is_ her, but she's changed. She's been..." she began but paused. Was it really wise for her to spill more about what has been going on? If Ginny wasn't already furious with her, finding out just how extensive her secret relationship with Bellatrix was would definitely send her into rage.

"She's been what?" Ginny asked shortly, but instantly sighed. Looking at Hermione, she tried to remember the last time she had ever done something wrong. Something that ended horribly. Ginny couldn't remember. Hermione was a brilliant person and would never do anything to put herself or her friends in danger. If she just so happened to maybe accidentally kiss the very woman that caused them all misery during the days that Voldemort was on the rise, so what? Right? ...Right?

"I'm sorry," Ginny finally said after spending a moment inside her chaos-filled mind. "This is all just a lot to take in at one time. I'm really sorry," she said, shaking her head.

"I know. It's weird. I feel weird. Kind of," Hermione said, staring off as she spoke, the new subject of the evening weighing heavily on her mind and causing a pang of unidentifiable emotion to hit her hard. "But she's all that I think about. I try to keep myself busy but my mind always finds it's way back to her." She spoke softly and looked Ginny square in the eye. This was the now or never time. Neither of the two at the table knew what to make of the situation, that much was clear. However, Hermione was still unaware at Ginny's stance on it all and she certainly wasn't going to risk losing a friend because she was afraid. She had already got herself into the situation and now that she pulled Ginny along, she had the right to know all of it.

"It's been months. We sit in the garden out back. It's always at night. She usually just finds a dark corner and sits and watches me. And she likes to listen to me talk. About everything. I swear she knows more about me now than I know about myself," Hermione laughed, mainly at the impossibility to anyone knowing more about her than she did. "She hasn't been back in two weeks, and I think I may nearly be insane from it," she finished, sounding matter-of-fact.

"I know what's going on," Ginny said with her best poker face. There was an awkward silence between the two, just sitting across from each other and staring. Hermione didn't know what to expect from her at this moment, but anything other than her screaming and storming out would have Hermione pleased.

"YOU LIKE HER!" Ginny suddenly exclaimed, the smile that was dying to come out finally broke free and spread across her lips. She looked at Hermione with knowing eyes just in time to see Hermione's exasperated sigh as she covered her face with her hands.

"Oh, get off it now," Ginny groaned at her behavior. "I knew this day would come. Maybe not with her," she said, not ready to say her name just yet. There was a part of her that was angry at Hermione for allowing herself to do such a thing, but she was willing to overlook it because Hermione was one of her best friends. And it was clear who exactly was making her happy at this moment – and it certainly wasn't her brother. "But if it wasn't her, it'd be some other girl," Ginny grinned. "You've never been comfortable with Ron! I don't know who you were trying to kid."

"You're right," Hermione's muffled voice came out from behind her hands. They fell to the table, revealing a smile – her first one of the evening. "I just wasn't sure. I couldn't be positive. And I was never given the chance," Hermione explained. "But then in the garden, I mean - "

"Was it good?" Ginny interrupted with a raised brow of intrigue.

Hermione stopped speaking and all was silent just for a moment before the two burst out in laughter again.

"You wouldn't believe it," Hermione began, shaking her head at amazement from a simple memory.

As Hermione went on to recount the tale of her first kiss with Bellatrix Lestrange, she was overcome with happiness. The evening could not have gone any better and it was then she realized how lucky she was to have someone like Ginny in her life. She was even luckier to still have her in her life. She had just told her she had not only befriended the woman that caused them so much pain in the past, but that she had become attached to her as well. And now there was only one thing left to do.

Break his heart.


	4. Fieryorange hair

Day 4 - Fiery-orange hair  


* * *

  
As she appeared from the brush covered trail she saw a small flash of fiery-orange hair before it disappeared into nothing in the front of Hermione Granger's house. She walked further down the pathway, shaking her head with a bittersweet smile.

"Foolish boy," Bellatrix hissed to herself, coming from a place that held unknown hatred for the boy. She had changed her ways and herself – this was true. But she still did not like that Weasley boy.

She rapped her knuckles against the wooden door and waited, leaning against the frame of the door. Knocking. That was something she still had to get used to.

Heavy footsteps became louder along with a frazzled voice speaking from the inside.

"You know Ronald, you never will learn when to leave anything alo-"

The door opened to reveal a red-nosed, crying, Hermione Granger who was struck with shock to see the person standing before her. She almost looked as shocked as Bellatrix did to see her crying.

"I thought you were..." Hermione mumbled, blinking tears out of her eyes. She had just broken up with her boyfriend, and now Bellatrix had come ringing. Of course.

"I see I've come at a bad time," Bellatrix finally said, more to herself than to Hermione. She looked around awkwardly in the silence, allowing anything to catch her eye so that she wouldn't look at Hermione. Seeing her like this made her uncomfortable. She didn't like it.

"I'll just be going then," she continued quietly while backing away slowly.

Hermione caught her by the wrist which caused her to stop and finally look her in the eyes. Hermione was staring back at her with the most heartbreaking expression that even Bellatrix's heart was touched.

"Please. Don't go."


	5. Sunshine

Day 5 - Sunshine  


* * *

  
The mid-day sunshine came showering down onto Bellatrix's face, causing her eyes to retreat to the safety behind her eyelids. It was an uncomfortable feeling, and she shifted form foot to foot on Hermione's doorstep, fighting to keep her eyes open. Fighting to keep them on Hermione. It was one of the hardest things she had put herself through in a while, and she used every bit of her strength to keep the thoughts of a stolen midnight kiss at bay. Unknown to Hermione, it too had been keeping Bellatrix awake at night. It had been keeping her away for all this time. And now, upon seeing Hermione at near ruin, she had resolved to keep it out of conversation altogether.

"Do you want to go inside and... uh.. talk?" Bellatrix asked awkwardly, clearly out of her element. Lending a helping hand and being gentle was never one of Bellatrix's strong suits. But she would try. For Hermione.

"No," Hermione shook her head frantically in response, oblivious to Bellatrix's discomfort. She closed the door behind her and took a step towards the dark haired woman, the distance between them disappearing.

With the sudden silence and close proximity, there was no doubt that the only thing on either of their minds was the kiss. It seemed that with every passing second, they became a little closer as if some unknown force was pulling them together with the courage neither of them could find. It wasn't until Hermione nervously cleared her throat, causing Bellatrix to back away, that they both came to realize how close they had actually been with no effort at all.

Bellatrix took three steps back, down each of the stone steps leading to Hermione's doorway. Her discomfort seemed to disappear and a lazy smile grazed her lips. She found herself holding out a hand to the disheveled woman before her – her eyes, glistening with the light of the sun also dripped with care and concern for Hermione – and Hermione's gaze faltered down to the hand before once again finding the dark orbs and locking her own into them in hopes that Bellatrix could decipher all she was attempting to say but couldn't find the words to do so.

In a second, Hermione thoughtlessly took the hand offered to her. She felt a tug, causing her to take two steps closer to the ground.

"C'mon," Bellatrix said, almost whining, tugging on the hand once more so the two were level before letting go, much too soon for Hermione's liking. She turned around and headed for the opening of the fence that surrounded Hermione's front lawn.

"Wait," Hermione called after her hesitantly, but Bellatrix continued to walk. "Are you leaving?" she asked nervously. She had no idea what she was supposed to do or how she was supposed to act. Had everything changed between the two since the kiss? Did Bellatrix feel the same way? Or was she supposed to forget about it entirely and continue on in the friendship that had blossomed between the two?

Bellatrix turned around once more to face Hermione, the sun stinging her eyes. Daylight was another thing she was still getting used to. She didn't like the way the sunlight revealed everything. It kept everything out in the open. It left her out in the open. It made her feel exposed. Vulnerable. And she could not ignore the uncomfortable feeling that came over her as she stood there with the sun beaming down on her while she was under Hermione's stare. Bellatrix had always had a sense of suaveness when it came to people. She got what she want. People crumbled under a certain look of her's, or a tantalizing touch in just the right place. But with Hermione? All of that was gone. And it sort of scared her. But she couldn't stay away.

"No," she said flatly, leaning up against the fence with her elbows. "_We_, however, are."

Hermione smiled as she stared on. Bellatrix had undeniable beauty in the moonlight, as Hermione had noticed over their secret meetings in the garden. She had never seen Bellatrix in the daylight, with the sunshine illuminating her and hiding nothing. She couldn't help but notice that standing there, leaning up against the fence, she looked absolutely beautiful. Desirable. She had so much on her mind. The unsaid between them had been making her nervous. More than she had been over the two weeks of silence. But somehow, in the past few minutes, Bellatrix had reassured her that everything would be okay.


	6. Truthfully

Day 6 - Truthfully  


* * *

  
Bellatrix looked on as Hermione continued another one of her stories – only after Bellatrix's constant insistence, of course. Sitting on one end of her couch while Hermione sat at the other, keeping at a safe distance from one another due to the silent uncertainty and discomfort that came upon them as the two sat alone in the living room while the sun disappeared from the sky. She was having a hard time keeping her mind in the present to listen to the story that she had convinced Hermione she wanted to hear so badly. She kept going back to that night with every stolen glance of Hermione's moving lips.

Though she felt more comfortable sitting on her couch in her living room. It gave her a sense of control over it all. They were on her turf now and the new solace that washed over her was exactly how she needed to feel after slowly simmering in the memory of what happened between the two. After years of practice, she found masking her emotions to be an easy task. But if Hermione could look inside her mind, she would see that truthfully she had found focusing on anything else to be quite difficult.

If she was being honest with herself, she wouldn't be sitting across the couch from Hermione who was still going on with her story as Bellatrix stared on, her mind completely elsewhere. If she was being truthful, she wouldn't be asking Hermione to tell her stories. Yes, she would be sitting on this couch. But in an ideal situation, Hermione would be sitting contently on her lap. They wouldn't have the need for words or the air to use them. Their lips would be locked in a passionate kiss with which Bellatrix would use to say everything that she couldn't bring herself to with words. All her insecurities would come flooding forth from her lips and transfer to Hermione's, and she would respond by kissing all of Bellatrix's worries away.

"Bellatrix?" Hermione asked in the middle of her sentence, forgetting her story entirely. "Bellatrix, are you okay?" she asked as the tone of her voice went from casual to dripping with concern.

This snapped Bellatrix from her reverie and her eyes darted from Hermione's lips to her eyes once more. A smile appeared on her lips at Hermione's display of concern for her, a sweet sentiment that her life had lacked for so long.

"I'm fine," she responded after settling in to Hermione's gaze. Suspiciously raised eyebrows suggested otherwise. "Really," she added, returning Hermione's arched brows with a pair of her own.

"You can just tell me when I'm boring you, you know," Hermione said, backing off a bit and leaning back into the cushions of the couch. She broke away from Bellatrix's trance and looked down at the floor, suddenly preoccupied with the events that had happened earlier that day. She wasn't given much time to register what had happened between herself and Ron before Bellatrix had shown up at her place, adding onto the burden that her mind was carrying. And now that there was silence between the two, something that hadn't appeared all day, she couldn't stop her mind from replaying the horrible fight that had happened moments before Bellatrix had rapped on her door.

"For the final time, you're not boring me. You're not boring," Bellatrix said with a bit of annoyance. She couldn't think of a time that the two shared when Hermione had not mentioned something about how boring and anything less than fun she was. Was it that hard to decipher that Bellatrix simply enjoyed spending time with her? "But I really think I should be the one asking you if you're okay," Bellatrix continued, seeing how preoccupied she had become. Bellatrix boldly scooted over, her thigh pressed up against Hermione's.

The sudden touch jolted Hermione from her thoughts and she looked up to see Bellatrix close enough to make her heart begin to race. It took all her strength to not bolt upright when she felt a surprisingly gentle hand rest on the small of her back as black orbs seemed to drill into her head to see everything that was racing through her mind at that moment.

"Are you ever going to tell me what was happening earlier? You haven't been yourself today. You've been with me all day, but you haven't really _been here_," Bellatrix noted out loud, not daring to venture further into the occurrence she had stumbled upon without permission.

Bellatrix wasn't stupid. She had an inkling of an idea of what had been going on when she showed up on Hermione's doorstep. But she had never had something so perfect with another person. The idea of screwing it up and losing it all scared her, though she'd never admit that. Not even to herself. She dealt with their friendship, with Hermione in general, as if it all were as delicate as an eggshell: liable to crack and crumble at any moment. Just a simple slip of the tongue or a step too far and she could just see Hermione speeding out of her house and leaving her behind to be all alone again. Alone. That was a concept she would like to leave permanently in the past.

"I didn't want to ruin today with something silly like that," Hermione said quietly, with some truth behind it. That was half of the reason. Uncertain where she and Bellatrix truly stood, she couldn't find it within herself to tell her that she was the true cause of her riff and sudden break-up with Ron.

A soothing hand slid easily up and down her back. Hermione stole a glance at Bellatrix. The care and concern that Hermione had spoken with just moments before seemed to rest in her gaze as she studied the girl carefully. Hermione knew that if she allowed herself to get caught up in it all, she would end up doing something that she might regret in the end. The hand that was just an offering of comfort skated from her back to her thigh without warning, and Hermione shot up from the couch upon feeling it's warmth.

"I just... I need a drink," she said, her throat suddenly dry. She disappeared into the darkness of the hallway that lead to the kitchen before Bellatrix had a chance to react.


End file.
